Friday, 13 February 2015

Clever Jokes For What With Book Reader People And Persons

 How do you get a noble gas to react?
Steal its girlfriend

Can a vegetarian vampire be killed with a steak to the heart?

I yawned at a deaf girl and she slapped me for shouting at her.

People like you hate condescending jokes.

I think therefore I am” is a true quote. I asked a friend if he would vote Labour in the election, and he said, “I think not” and disappeared.

I thought my brain was my most important organ, but then it would say that wouldn’t it.

Why are pizza jokes so cheesy?

Why is it so difficult to come up with jokes about rhetorical questions?

What do you get if you cross an ignorant person with an apathetic one?
Don’t know, don’t care.

Urine trouble if you get a bladder infection.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Creosote nipples
Photons don’t need luggage if they travel light.

Is Atheism the only non-profit organization?

I heard oxygen and magnesium had a baby.
I was all like OMg

Knock Knock
Who’s There
……..Long Pause
Internet Explorer 11

How many people do not read questions correctly?

I had to get a degree in economics to understand why I was unemployed.

If your glass is half empty, then use a smaller glass.

I told an uptight Kleptomaniac to stop taking things literally.

Do ninja’s wear sneakers?

Lots of unemployed jokes don’t work.

For the 3rd year in a row the Tokyo ninja parade slips by unnoticed.

My mum said I should get a tank for my fish. The people at the army base were not impressed when I took one.

Is premature ejaculation a problem that comes out of nowhere?

The barman then told us he doesn’t serve time travelers in his bar. Anyway, we a walked into a bar and the barman told he doesn’t serve time travelers. Anyway, we….

Somebody ask a psychic if a midget can be a medium.

A Freudian slip is when you are trying to say one thing but the thing that is on your mind slips boobies.

I think my motorbike was two tyred to stand alone.

Wind Farms are loved by many…..they have a lot of fans.

If I was an alien and wanted to attack earth, I would have to planet first.

Is the Chaos theory true?
Its probable.

A guy crushed by books only has his shelf to blame.

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