Monday, 2 February 2015

In The World Of The Dumb, The Fool Is King

I told my girlfriend I like Eminem, and she said she only likes the chocolate kind. So I bought her some M&Ms and she tried to put them in alphabetical order. She sent a lot of them back to the shop for having Ws written on them.

I caught her cutting open a pineapple to look for Spongebob. She went to the dentist to get her Blutooth fixed. I told my girlfriend that she doesn’t need concert tickets for Xbox Live.

I caught her racing a bulb down the stairs because the doctor told her she needs light exercise. She asked if we could go for a picnic in Tiger Woods.

She bought a Smartphone and could not get it out of the box. She is the only woman I know to have ever failed an IQ test. I asked my girlfriend, “Do you know you are dumb?” She said, “I kinda figured I was, after all, look who I am dating.”

Pingu does not talk in Russian. He talks in Penguinese.
Seriously, the rumors that he talks Russian were an internet joke that went too far.
(like the childhood inoculations thing)

Question: What is the first thing you would do if you had this bag right now?
Answer: I would use it to carry my shopping home. 

Is this how strip clubs work? I'm more concerned about the sticky money! I don’t want my money sticking to my sleeve when I go to the shops for a bag of carrots.

Apparently, you can get petrol in hell, and hotdogs, and….urm….barbeque sets.
What’s that all about?

 Nothing ever works out for me either

SHE'S A GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Question: What do you call a young man that never lies to women?
Answer: A virgin

You know what is sad? 
The arrow had to be added in because most men couldn’t see what was funny about the picture. 
They were too busy looking at her golden globes.

I Love Buffy.

Who wrote this comic?
It is everywhere, and we need to pat the creator on the back.

50 shades of green

It's the comments that should get the gold.

Hmmm, There is something supernatural going on here

Those sneaky Chinese. 
I could make a Chinese joke right now, but that would just be Razy Lacism.

Some people say that this sofa thing is stupid, but you will be surprised what lengths you will go to when you don't have the money to do it the right way.

This is genuinely dumb. She is dumb because she clearly thinks this is a way to be sexy. This is the sort of girl that calls you to ask you your phone number.

Look closely, and you can see it is the baby's foot

The mind boggles. Who is standing in front of who?
The truth is that the black guy is wearing two-toned shorts that look as if they are part of the man behind.

Looks like his dingle dangle does it.
It is actaully the foot of the woman sitting on the wall behind him.

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